Get Lost—On Purpose

Get Lost—On Purpose

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Yes. This is us.

Lost.


And yes, that is a car in the background. We are the only people who can hike, find an interstate- and still be lost.

But this is what we do.

Once a year my husband and I take a bunch of brave friends and spend a couple of days backpacking. Our goal is to cover at least 30 miles. No phones. Everything we need on our backs.

Last year we got lost pretty good. But we eventually found our way. It was frustrating at times- but the whole point was to be outside and explore right? So we really weren’t lost….we were discovering.

New paths. New ways to get there.

Now this is an extremely optimistic viewpoint. When you are in middle of the adventure and you don’t know “the” way its frustrating- its scary. You picture everything perfect and little birdies chirping as you spring along the well paved path.

But its not like that in life right?

We struggle. We get lost.

I’ve been thinking a lot about our trip last year in relation to the new business I am starting/various projects/etc.

Do I give myself the freedom to play? Get lost? Screw up?

 

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this is me tired around mile 16/17

 

The reality is- if you want to do anything creative or innovative- you WILL got lost.

Not might….WILL. There is no clear cut path. You make your own. Be comfortable in that. Its apart of the ball game. Being lost is not always a sign that you shouldn’t be doing- whatever it is you are doing. Eventually YOUR path will emerge- you might even be glad you took a different way.


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Choose Wisely

Choose Wisely

I’m sure you have heard it said that you are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. Jim Rohn actually said this- and he was referring to the law of average. What results from the whole?

We need to reach out to people. Love people. And walk with people through hard times. I am not saying we should be a snob.

But who are you spending a lot of TIME with? People who enhance the life within you? Challenge you? Make you stronger?
Or people who make you feel comfortable?

Most people I know hang out with people who are EXACTLY like them. Look like them, dress like them, walk and talk like them (law of averages into play). But if you want to grow- seek out people who challenge you. People who make you want to be a better person.

The moral of the story is to guard your heart. Who you spend your time with is ultimately who you become. And that is worth looking at and analyzing.


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Photo by and Jesse Vaughan

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Use Your Muscles

Use Your Muscles

Do you feel hesitant to talk about what you are good at? Or do you even know what you are good at?

We are really quick to pick ourselves apart and point out our flaws to people (and ourselves). This is a very very dangerous place to be. It may seem like humility to never see the good within- but its damaging.

I am not saying that you need to walk around thinking you are the shin-iz ( made up that word). But pause before you bash yourself- or run to your faults. We all have them. But there are also strengths and gifts that you have. They are not there just to make you feel warm and fuzzy- but to be given away. To help others. And make a difference.

When you disregard your gifts, you cannot use them to their fullest capacity. And what a shame that is. People do not need your perfection. They need you to show up and care.

Show up. Use what you have. See the good- in others and in yourself.


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3 Reasons Why You Should

3 Reasons Why You Should

I work really hard sometimes to avoid the moment where I have to make a choice. But after awhile all the research has been done, I’ve thought enough, and I have to make a decision. Do I take the leap? Or run as fast as I can to the nearest ice cream store and just forget about it?

We all do this. We peek over the edge and wonder if we should.

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Three reasons why you should

1)  You are responsible for what you don’t use.

I still haven’t quite figured it out but for some reason we tend to feel guilty for admitting we are good at something or have a gift. There is a time when we need that gift affirmed by others, and there is a time to stop looking for affirmation and permission and start using it. You have your gifts and talents for a reason…and that reason goes way beyond your own personal use. You have these talents to help change and influence others. Not using our gifts is selfish, not humble. 

2) If this isn’t it, it will lead you to something that is

A huge fear that tries to creep up in me sometimes is “making the wrong decision”. Like this one thing (no matter how big it is) will either make or break my actual life. Besides a few decisions like who to marry or whether or not to pull the plug on life support, are not as life altering as we make them out to be. And more often than not, by taking the jump you may not land where you thought, but you will land SOMEWHERE. And that somewhere is sure better than where you started.

3) You will regret it if you don’t

I regret more of the decisions that I didn’t make, than some of the ones I did. We kind of have things backwards, we place our fear in failing instead of fearing not trying. Failure is inevitable…but never trying is completely preventable. We weren’t meant to just survive and make it through life without any scrapes and bruises. Roll up your sleeves and set out for adventure. We will regret it if we don’t.

The ultimate question is why not? Many things are replaceable. You can earn back money, you can move back home, you can try another route. However you will never get back the days you wasted wondering if you should.

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Photo by and Peter Reed

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Show Up.

Show Up.

I think the question that I get asked the most is, “How do I stay motivated to post on my blog, or promote my business, or write on my book…” Etc.

For me. There is only one answer  Show up.

Not perfectly. Not put together everyday. Not even feeling like it.

But show up.

The people that you want to reach need to believe that you will be there consistently. Even if that is ONE person and not 10,000 people. If you will not do it for one person- you don’t deserve to do it for 10,000.

There were many many times when i first started writing on here that only a handful (literally) of people would read my posts. And those readers very well could have been my mom rereading my posts.

Its important to produce quality- but its more important that you show up.

Showing up means that you care.

Showing up is giving.

Showing up means laying pride down because you are willing to come when things aren’t perfect- and walk a long side the people that you are wanting to build trust in.

I am not perfect at this. I let the ball drop a lot. But…eventually I do pick the ball up and show up again. Not because I have some magic formula. But because I care. When you deepen your level of passion for whatever it is your are showing up for- you have few excuses to give up. You begin to love for something bigger. Something that goes way beyond yourself.

 

If you have to show up in your pjs- Show up.

We need you. Your work matters. Keep giving.


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Photo by and Nishanth Jois

 

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War Against Apathy

War Against Apathy

When you have been hurt– numbing seems like the safe option.

It keeps you from feeling anything else- including the pain that you have experienced. The danger in this is that when you block off emotion- you block off the bad- and the good. (Brene Brown talks a lot about this).

If you want to make a true difference through your work- you have to open yourself up. You have to care, have passion, and  be hurt sometimes.

Impactful work cannot be delivered through an apathetic individual. Although its hard, and it sucks sometimes- we have to be willing to be rejected 20x in order to get through that 1x.

Is that ONE time enough for you?

It is for me. On most days. I have to remind myself again and again why I do what I do- in order to go through all the “blah Im giving up days” for the hope that one day- something that I do or work towards will make a difference.

Apathy is glorified in the Millennial generation as “cool” or “normal”.

Dont let it be your normal.

Do work that matters. Care about outcomes, solutions, and what you can sacrificially give. Not because its easy- but because it matters.

 

 


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Photo by and Frank Kelly

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The Problem that You Were Created to Solve

The Problem that You Were Created to Solve

I believe we all have a purpose. That’s a foreign thought now days because we seem to celebrate apathy. If you turn on the radio you will hear lyrics about “not caring” and “I can do what I want“, and not being able to pay your rent so just blowing your “money at the club“.

We have neglected any sense of personal obligation to contribute to this world. And we wonder why the world is sick. We have become receivers and not givers. And its killing us.

When thinking about your purpose and what you want to “leave behind” in this world I encourage you to think about the problem that you want to solve. The question that you want answered. We need to start asking ourselves these types of questions in order to be more effective in these short few years that we have on earth.

What is it that really stirs you?

This is obviously just a starting point. There is a lot more to explore and think about, try out and pursue. But this question is something that you have to establish WITHIN yourself, before you start to do work outside of yourself.

We need you. We need your gifts.

There are problems that you were created to solve and answers that you have that the world needs to hear. Your life has purpose. 


What stirs you? If there were a “problem” that you could solve during your life, what would it be? I would love to hear from you. Please fill out the form below.

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Live Your Adventure

Live Your Adventure

My husband jumped out of a plane this weekend. It was on purpose.
Before his jump, his sky diving instructor was making small talk with us. He was telling us where he was from, about his career, and so forth. You know, a normal conversation that strangers exchange during moments of silence. Then his brother got brought up.

He mentioned that him and his brother were total opposites. His bother worked for the government, in an office, and wore suits everyday. This guy (the instructor) said that he is a sky diving instructor, surfer, scuba diver, and went through a phase there he rode bulls.

Pretty crazy.

Then he said something in passing, in a joking manner- that stuck out to me “Yeah, my brother likes to watch adventure on TV- I like to live adventure”.

Now- this didn’t hit me because I think everyone should go jump out of planes and ride bulls (I will probably do neither)- but I was thinking about the metaphorical message behind that statement.

Do we live our adventure?

For me I have a idea with what I want to do- and keeping it as a ‘goal’ or ‘dream’ is really safe. I get satisfaction just thinking that “one day” this or that may happen. But what about the risk of living that adventure now? Sure jumping out of a plane is a more instant, concrete action that produces imeeditiate results, our bigger “life” dreams” may be a little more difficult to simply jump into.

But we can. How?

I think it starts by putting ourselves at risk.
Willingly taking chances.
Screwing up and trucking along.

Not watching the adventure play out in our imaginations and sinking into the comfort zone of “one day”– but stepping out now– and living it.

Easier said than done? Yup.
But something to think about. And something that IS possible.
Thanks crazy sky diver man for teaching boldness through your story.

 

 

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Imperfections are not Inadequacies

Imperfections are not Inadequacies

The most real and authentic side of you is what will make a difference.

There is no new formula that people need, no combination of words that they have not heard.
No amazing graphic, or 5 step program, that will forever change their life.

Sometimes we think the more perfect we are, the more love and acceptance we will get.

The better our house looks, the more perfect our children look…
When we have the best profile picture EVER, & when we finally fit into a size 2.
When we post enough scripture or seem to have no struggles

THEN we will have arrived.
Then we will be accepted, admired, and adored.

But who is it exactly that people are loving? You? Or what you have presented yourself to be?
And more importantly, who’s lives are impacted by being exposed to our efforts of perfection?

Someone being raw & genuine  is what the world needs desperately to see. But very few people are willing to do that.

Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage@brenebrown

Quit trying to be perfect. You will just wear yourself out. And understand that we more real and authentic you are the more of an affect you will have on the lives of those around you. Be the kind of person people can breathe around. Admit you make mistakes. Be okay with that.

Perfectionism is a form of lying.

Its not being honest with who you are or where you are. No one really knows you. And you end up not knowing yourself. That would be a sad life to live.

Imperfections are not inadequacies. They are reminders that we are all in this together @brenebown.


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Photo by and Michael Coghlan

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Eddie Becker’s Big Picture

Eddie Becker’s Big Picture

I’ve always been a writer.

Since my 6th grade class did a study on different countries and I wrote a four-line poem about toucans, I’ve been a writer.
Since my senior year in high school where my assigned autobiography project was nearly twice as long as anyone else’s, I’ve been a writer.
Since my college days of writing satirical newspapers dedicated to the guys on my intramural basketball team (shout out to East Carson), I’ve been a writer.
Since the days of Live Journal, Myspace, Tumblr, and Facebook, I’ve been a writer.

Not necessarily a good writer, but a writer none the less.

I’ve been published in poetry journals. I’ve been published on magazine web sites and sports blogs. I am a writer.

But a few years after graduating college, a wall of frustration barricaded itself in front of me. I had gotten a job. A good job. One with benefits and bonuses and a company car. One that I was good at. One that I excelled at. One that I knew would provide for my family for a long time. Despite all that, something was missing: passion.

See, when you’re doing something you’re not passionate about, all of the shiny things that come with it don’t matter. A big end-of-year bonus doesn’t matter when you don’t love what you’re doing. Business trips to the Rocky Mountains and San Diego and the coast of Florida don’t matter when you’re not excited about your work. Expense accounts, accolades, and a flexible schedule don’t matter when you flat out hate your job.

Here I was, stuck in a career that had sucked the life out of me. It wasn’t anyone’s fault really. The company that I was with treated me well, the people I worked with were great, and for the most part, the job wasn’t exceptionally difficult or stressful. Still I went to sleep every night dreading the next morning of waking up, eating breakfast, and driving off to a job that I had no desire to be at. 

I feel like most of you have been there: lost in a job that doesn’t allow you to utilize your skills and talents. A job that simply gives you a paycheck, but not any joy. What a miserable way to live life!

Despite all my years working a job I despised, I managed to get through it. The love of a good woman and the births of two little girls kept me motivated to stick with it; to drudge through the days knowing I was at least putting bread on the table, and that I could be proud of. 

Still I yearned for more. I wanted something else. I was writing for websites and trying to get my own blog up and going. All my time spent at work and with family yielded little time for my true passion of writing. But when I did have that time, I spent it crafting articles to submit to websites and pieces for my own blog late at night, only to wake up the next day and re-enter the job I dreaded going to. 

After nearly 10 years, my time spent writing on my own came to fruition. I got a job in my home state that combines my three big passions: writing, sports, and ministry. After 10 years of feeling stuck in a hopeless job, I got out. And not just “got out”, but entered into something I never could have imagined, using the gifts I never thought I would get to use in my career. I left a workplace that had drained my spirit and entered one that has filled it. 

What’s the point of my story for you? It’s this: never, ever, ever stop pursuing your passions. Are you a painter? Then go paint. Do you dance? Then go dance. Do you write and sing and perform? Then go, get on stage and shine. This world is full of drones working jobs they weren’t made to work. This world is full of people who have sacrificed their dreams because some stranger told them they weren’t good enough. The world is full of people who walked away from their passions because they didn’t have the time, money, or energy to chase them.

The world needs your passion. The world needs people to work jobs where they give their all not just for a paycheck, but for the joy of the labor. The world needs people who will work the late hours not to earn a few extra bucks, but because they’re not willing to give less than 100% to their dreams. 

The big picture is this: you have been given a stirring in your soul for a reason. You have a deep passion for something for a reason. Let that passion run wild. Pursue it full-on, knowing that the chances are great that not only your life’s purpose will be fulfilled, but others will be encouraged to do the same.

-Eddie Becker


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I am a writer for a sports ministry in South Carolina. My beautiful wife Kathryn and I have two daughters that keep us pretty busy. I love sports, I love reading and writing, and I really love sleep. I also love Oreos, the beach, and Jesus. You can read my ramblings at eddiebecker.net, and follow me on Twitter at @ridethepine. If you’d like to contact me, email me at eddiebecker712@gmail.com.


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