Tip Toe

“You see the heart and soul of someone in times of adversity”
I heard that quote the other day, and have been thinking a lot about it. I wanna help people, I want to have friends, and I want people to like me….you know, what most normal girls want. We are nurtures, almost to a fault.
If I focused solely on these desires (helping, having friends, people liking me) it would wear me down.

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Although its not bad to want these things, they can put you in a position where you will sacrifice your authentic self to please someone else. If you have to explain yourself and defend yourself constantly, if you are the only one who has to maintain a relationship, it might be time to mosey on down the road.

You see someone’s true level of commitment to you, someone’s “heart and soul” in the times of adversity, when things aren’t as “fun” or easy…
Don’t surround yourself with people you have to tiptoe around. And don’t make people feel like they have to tip toe around you. Everyone has a bad day, but if its a consistent problem- you have to be honest about what the true source of insecurity is coming from. And that’s hard for us gals to admit. It might NOT be your friends fault…it might simply be your insecurity.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. And surround yourself with people who give YOU the benefit of the doubt, and don’t make you tip toe.

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The Young

I’m young. At least I think I am. Some of the kids from church call me ma’am. And that makes me feel old. But…I try to forget about that.

Us young folks (I include myself in this!) have this creepy, strange ora about us. Its this sense of entitlement. That things are owed to us, that the world is meant to bow and severe.

News flash fellow youngins…
If you truly believe this… in 30 years you will be broke and miserable.

If I could do anything for this generation I would help them to discover a sense of responsibility. To understand that no one owes them ANYTHING. And yes, they should become everything that they want, but they need to work for it.
Its not about achieving a result, its about developing your character.
Results will follow.

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You life is worth caring about.
Your life is worth working for.
You will never get to a point where you are “too good” to serve and work and be extremely humble. Everything can be taken from you in an instant.

They say that if you were to distribute the worlds wealth, evenly…to all people, within a few years it would be back in the hands of those who had it in the first place. To me, this means that character, drive, and WORK bear fruit.

Entitlement bears pain.
Because it is never satisfied and never fulfilled.
Laziness is sad.
Because it will bring true regret.
And apathy is to me…the most disturbing.
“Not caring” is not showing how strong you are, but how weak you are. Strength is caring deeply about life, taking a challenge, pursing, and thriving.

Its the issue of the future we are dealing with. We are the next set of leaders. And that shouldn’t be a scary thought.

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Value Time

I’ve heard the saying “time is money” my whole life.

I’ve never really got want that meant until the past year or so.

It means your time is valuable. When you exchange your money for something you are saying that whatever you are giving money for is more valuable than that money.

If you are hungry, a meal may be more valuable than keeping ten dollars.
When you need socks, a bag from target is more valuable than keeping 5 dollars.

You weigh the exchange and make the decision.

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I’ve been trying to do that with my time lately. Is what I am spending my time doing WORTH giving my time for it?

Sometimes we need to give time for rest (for ourselves). Other times we need to give time as a gift (for others). But other things…if we really think about it, are not worth the transaction.

Its worth weighing the costs. We can get more money. We cannot always get back our time.

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Choose wisely

You become who you hang around. Literally.

Its hard, because you develop relationships with people, and sometimes you truly love them.
However, sometimes for the sake of you, you have to say goodbye.

You cannot change people, and you shouldn’t.
That’s the job for Someone else with much greater power than you and I.

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Its all about having standards.
In order to grow we have to have standards, things we hold ourselves accountable to. Lines drawn that we will not cross, and dreams and aspirations that we are reaching for.
The people you surround yourself determine, literally if those boundaries will be crossed, and if those aspirations are ever reached.

They are the voices that have the strongest influence. They give you fuel, or they drain you.
You should love people. You should care about them, give to them, and believe in them.
But your inner circle, needs to be chosen carefully and intentionally.

Your friends don’t just share in your story, they help write it. So its worth looking around you, and deciding who you want to become.

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Stick it out.

I love this quote.

However, once you “lose sight of the shore”…you still haven’t crossed the ocean.

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There is a point when we “let go”, when we start, when we venture off…that we are left alone.

Nothing has changed. And we wonder if we made the right choice.

We start working out and we see no results, so we wonder why we began.

We start our new business…and after the excitement settles down, we are left with wondering how we are going to pay our bills.

When you announce to the world, that you are going to do this or do that….you are left wondering how.

Sticking to your dream….long after the excitement fades is what it takes.  It takes courage to let go and begin, but it takes true character and commitment to stick it out…even when the destination is no where in sight.

Hold on to the “end picture” in your mind. Never loose sight of it. It will come.  If you stick it out.

 

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Character>Results

It’s hard not seeing results, isn’t it?

I get really frustrated sometimes because an entire week will go by, and I’m like..whoa! Where did it go? And where is the fruit?

But I have to believe that it will come.

Running everyday will pay off. Even though I may look the same today as I did yesterday.

Studying everyday will pay off. Even though I have 20 assignments after it, one day I will have that degree.

Being consistent through my actions, and not just with my words will pay off.

Small steps every day. Compound interest.

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Jim Rohn said, “After you become a millionaire, you can give all of your money away because what’s important is not the million dollars; what’s important is the person you have become in the process of becoming a millionaire.” 

I don’t want to be the kind of person who works JUST for results, I want to work to BECOME the type of person who is faithful and diligent, even when there are no tangible results.

Value your character above anything else. Work hard. Results are sure to follow.

 

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Its okay to quit.

You have to have a true passion for what you do.

You cannot force passion.

You may feel pressured to be this or that because someone next to you is succeeding and seems happy in what they are doing. But it just doesn’t do the same for you.

You may feel pressured to see something out because you are afraid of doing something different or new,  or you are scared of admitting something didn’t work.

Is it worth being miserable though? Is it worth spending your ENTIRE life doing something…that you are not passionate about?

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You know the difference.  Work is hard either way. We have to stick things out and see them through either way.

But why not do something you WANT to?

Its so important to be fully inlove with what you do. Doesn’t mean its easy…but its rewarding.

Fight for what you want. We have one short life, and tomorrow is never guaranteed. Don’t spend your precious minutes on anything less than what you are truly passionate about.

Its okay to quit sometimes, if you are choosing something better.

 

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Explore

Have you been ever asked the question, “Soooo, What do you do?

You are suppose to respond to one occupation and leave it at that.

I am a lawyer.

I am a business owner.

I am a graphic designer.

I am a stay at home mom.

etc.

When I get asked this question I often feel pressured to “sum me up” in a sentence.

Well you know what? I can’t.

And I don’t want to.

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I don’t think we were meant to be labeled as one thing or another…and we definitely aren’t meant to throw some desires away and keep others.

This is where a lot of pressure comes in for people to PICK SOMETHING! Pick something you love and run after it. I WHOLEHEARTEDLY believe in this. I believe real desires provoke action. You have to put feet on your words.

But..

People often don’t pursue anything…because they can’t find that “one thing”.

I just am not sure there is…one thing….for everyone. Maybe many things interest you. You can LOVE your business and still dream about doing this or that one day. That’s okay.

Explore.

Have you ever noticed that “starters” (people who put actions to their words) often have multiple projects going? My friend Brittany has a very successful business. She loves it. But on the side she opened up another business that had nothing to do with the first one. Does that mean she doesn’t love the first anymore? Nope…she has just discovered the joy of seeing outward manifestations of the desires she has inside of her. I’m sure as the years go on…she will start more things…and more things.

We have a small group of entrepreneurs/artists/writers who meet a couple of times a month for accountability/brain storming/and goals. Guess what? The longer the person is in the group…the harder of a time they have to “label” themselves. Because we (usually) aren’t one desire. We are a whole lot of things. 

Try new things, start new things. If something fails. Who cares?

We have to stop apologizing for who we are. If something we like or enjoy makes no sense to some one else- whoopty freakin do. Go after it anyway. If you are a successful doctor and you want to start a side business making kids hair bows…go for it. We don’t have to have permission slips from everyone else to do what we want.

I believe desires, dreams, gifts are placed inside of us for a reason. Not to torture us of what we should of been….but push us towards being. Now.

You are not a sentence. You are not a word. The part I love about this life/world is its meant to be explored and experience. Not one corner of it…but the whole thing.

And we were meant to be fully engaged in this one…life…we have.

Explore.

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What we all want.

Its easier to quit.

Period.

In fact…I’m starting to see that it is easier to start something, than it is to follow through.  Because along the way we forget our “why”.

Why did you start? What was your dream? And why did you have that dream?

Its worth taking time out and remembering.

We all have different outcomes.

But there is one common thread that I GUARANTEE is in all of our “whys”.

It’s value.

Adding value to someone else’s life. Making their lives a little bit better, maybe even saving one.

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I am studying personality theorists this semester. They are all so different, and firm in their own theory. But the common theme to all of them is the end. In the end, when we are old, we look back and wonder if we added value. If we made an impact.

It might not be on the forefront of our minds at 20. But trust me, its coming.

We can’t take our cars,  our houses,  or tapes of us on the Oprah show……with us. The only thing that is left is people. Did we add value to their lives?

Some synonyms of “value” are importance, worth, or usefulness.

When you are thinking of quitting, when things get hard remember that you are in this          (whatever “this” may be…) to add importance, worth, usefulness, and VALUE to people’s life.

Its not just about you.

 Remember your why. 

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Strong + Weak= Strong

If you are a buff person (physically)

You could lose all your muscles. It might take some time, but you could lose them. The stronger you are the longer it would take to become weak again. But…..its possible.

If you are a buff person (I just like saying that)

You will still have your off days. You will sleep in, miss the gym, and go to Sonic. It will happen.

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That’s the physical side. Its logical. We all understand it. We don’t blink twice. Strong people can have their weak days, it doesn’t destroy them. 

I have a lot of plans/goals/aspirations…and I annoy half the people in my life. I was telling a friend this weekend that people assume all of this comes easy for me….but its  really really hard. Not so much the doing…but the “keep doing” part.  And I feel like I am a little wiggly man trying to be buff at the gym.

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I know I am strong however…not because of what I do but because I am the stubbornest person you will ever meet. I know I will have my weak days but I move forward anyway. I refuse to give up. I refuse to listen to criticism. I just don’t accept that.

People don’t start things because they are afraid they will mess up. And people don’t “keep going” because they are afraid they are going to mess up. Granted ..”getting up” isn’t easy after a fall. But is being on the sidelines your entire life easier? Better? Worth it?

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So in fear of the inevitable (the weak moments)….people miss out on on the strong moments. And settle for half of what they are capable of.

Starting something…and finishing something involves strong AND weak moments.

Its not going to look perfect…and you are not going to be perfect.

It may appear that you are avoiding weakness…by never shooting for strength. But really you just settled for weakness. Permanently. Forever.

Try. Mess up. And try again. I doubt if anyone ever laid on their death bed saying,

“Lord I just tried too many things in life”

Nope. If anything it is,

“Man that went by fast…why did I not just go after it?”

Being strong doesn’t mean not being weak. It means being stubborn and not giving up.

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